Ask “how are you?” twice. The sad reality of suicide.
31st March 2021
Written by Olivia Fretwell
“On Monday, I said I didn’t believe Meghan Markle in her Oprah interview. I’ve had time to reflect on this opinion, and I still don’t.” This is directly quoted from Piers Morgan’s Instagram, posted on the 10th March 2021; here, he is re-iterating and making it clear that he didn’t believe what Meghan Markle said, including one can only assume, the fact she said she was also suicidal. Some might say that he is entitled to his own opinion, however controversial. Others might say that he is disregarding someone’s suicidal disclosure and that, without meaning to or not, he is reinforcing to his followers and the public that it is okay to disbelieve someone who discloses mental health difficulties or suicidal ideation. It is perhaps all too easy to question someone’s motives and suggest that she said it for attention, media coverage, or, in this case, to discredit others i.e. the Royal Family.
This leads on to another quote about Caroline Flack, who shocked the nation when she sadly took her own life last year. Amongst many quotes, this powerful and suggestive one stood out; “but she just wasn’t emotionally wired to deal with all the problems that came with being famous.” [BBC News article, written by Steven McIntosh, 10th March 2021]. It must also be noted that there have been multiple [too many] celebrity [and in general] suicides in recent years, notably two Love Island contestants, Sophie Gradon and Mike Thalassitis. One might ask why people in the public eye should ever have to be ‘wired’ for the sort of abuse that they receive. Some might feel that those who apply for Love Island are ‘asking for it’ as they put themselves into that situation and onto that platform for the world to see, that may be the case, but it doesn’t excuse the lack of support and education from the producers of these shows. Some online abusers may feel they can hide behind screens without acknowledging the distress they are directly causing because they do not see the tangible impact of their words; they forget that celebrities are human too. Are these preventable deaths not enough evidence to show that online abuse can be very harmful; are these deaths not enough to make online abusers realise the effects of their behaviour? A recent documentary was aired about Caroline’s death, the impact it had on those around her, and the numerous circumstances that precipitated and lead to her taking her own life. You get a glimpse into what she was going through at the time, and the inexcusably negative impact that the media had on her mental health. Her private life and business were everyone’s knowledge.
The most recent Office of National Statistics Report on suicides in England and Wales was released in September 2020, detailing 2019 registrations. The main points are as follows; there were 5,691 suicides registered, three-quarters of which were among men. The highest age-specific suicide rate for males was 45-49 years and for females, 50-54 years. Shortly before the Caroline Flack documentary came out, another was aired – ‘Roman Kemp – Our Silent Emergency’ – an incredibly moving and brave programme focusing on male suicide in particular, which as the figures suggest above, is particularly common. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Roman lost his best friend Joe Lyons – he had no idea that he was struggling, as on the outside appeared so happy and full of life. How could he possibly not have known? This programme was made to help Roman find answers to so many questions that he had, and to overcome some of the anger and guilt he felt. He also explored ways to help prevent tragedies like his from happening; one idea suggested by a group of friends in the programme was to ask “are you okay?” twice – so easy and simple, but one that invites someone to open up and shows they truly care.
Further figures – someone commits suicide every 90 minutes in the UK; in England 13 people die by suicide each day; two-thirds of those who die by suicide are not in contact with mental health services; and 50% who have attempted suicide do not seek specialist help (they are more likely to ask for help from family and friends). [Ref: Government Response to the Health Select Committee’s Inquiry into Suicide Prevention July 2017]. These figures speak for themselves, but what strikes me, is that two-thirds of those who commit suicide are not in contact with mental health services; two-thirds of people who are suicidal are not officially ‘on the radar’ and are silently suffering. This may be for many reasons – they may feel they cannot reach out, or they may have tried to access support but inundated services mean huge waiting times, and for some they cannot hold on that long. There needs to be more funding for more support and access to these crucial services, alongside a massive movement of psychoeducation and training for teachers, parents, employers, and support workers, to recognise early warning signs and have the ability to properly risk assess a situation – the focus being on pro-active early intervention to enable prevention.
We are all human, we are all different, we all deal with certain things in different ways. We all have a role here to help change the narrative. The issue surrounding suicide is huge, and there are many parts of society that need much more education and resources, one main source being early intervention in schools. Dr Alex George, also a previous Love Island contestant, on the 3rd February 2021, was named the Government’s Youth Mental Health ambassador. This followed after the death of his brother last summer to suicide, and since then, he has worked tirelessly to fight for the provision of more sufficient mental health services and support for children/young adults. He will work closely with Government and help to shape policy on improving support for young people in schools, colleges and universities. Having such an inspiring and popular figure like him in this position, who is willing to listen, provides hope that change is slowly starting; this is a huge positive step towards hopefully preventing many other lives lost. On the 27th March 2021, the Government recently published a ‘Mental Health Recovery Action Plan’ promising £500 million to help support mental health services, allowing them to expand and strengthen after an impossible year living with Covid-19. To view the full page and for more information, follow the link here. For those who may be struggling and need support, please visit the Samaritans website or phone their helpline (116 123) for free.
This is a reminder to be kind, reach out to family/friends, start a difficult conversation if required, and help each other. We truly do not know what other people are going through, and while it may outwardly seem a pretty picture, evidence clearly shows that things are not always as they present.
[Copyright: BPS]