New Year, New Goals- But I really mean it this time…!
1st January 2020
By Jessica Dodds
A tradition of the New Year is setting new goals. While some of you will dismiss goal setting completely because “I’ll never actually stick to it anyway”; many others of you will attempt to set targets, but find yourself not taking it seriously, and consequently not achieve the goal. This then reinforces the thought of “I’ll never stick to it anyway”, and suddenly you are in a circle of disappointment and you continue to make no changes. It is during these thought patterns that the importance of goal setting is often lost. This blog aims to remind you why it’s useful to set goals, what struggles are often faced when achieving goals, and some top tips on how to achieve the goals.
Settings goals is extremely useful because it keeps you heading in a direction of what matters to us in life. For example, if being sociable is important to you, then you could aim to meet a friend for a coffee once a week. Or, you could aim to join a local club to make new friends. You would do this because you want to be sociable, and to make friends. By setting the goal, you know that you can tick that off and say you have worked towards something that is important to you. Once you have completed a goal, you can set another goal, and another, and another. Once you have completed each goal, you will feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. However, it isn’t always so easy! And here is why…
We are our own worst enemies. “Oh I won’t join a group, because I might not get on with the people”. “I won’t text my friend, she might be busy”. These are just two examples of some of the thoughts that interfere when trying to accomplish our new goals. While they are ‘only thoughts’, they will often impact your behaviour and stop you from doing what is important to you, and therefore stop you being the person who you want to be.
You can also find yourself setting goals in sight of something that isn’t actually important to you. A classic is “Going to the gym 5 times a week”. In the New Year many of you will take up the reduced- priced, gym membership because of the pressure of “being healthier” or “getting fit”. But actually, for many that is not of real importance, or in sight of a value you want to carry through life. So, often the reason the gym is given up on in three weeks into January is because it is not actually important to us. But inevitably, you start feeling guilty and like a failure because you did not achieve what you aimed to. The irony is that it was never really important to you in the first place!
So, how can you ensure that you are setting yourself up to ACHIEVE in the New Year?
Know what really matters- This may sound obvious, but I am sure many of you will find yourselves resonating with the example above or a similar scenario. So take some time out to really establish the kind of person you want to be. And then choose in which way you want to behave, and ensure it is in line with that person you want to be.
Be realistic- No doubt you have good intentions, but if your goal unachievable from the outset, it is almost inevitable that you will fail. So ensure you are aiming for something that is possible. Also, be sure to give yourself enough time. Make sure that you account for what already happens in your day- to- day life.
Be Specific- You may choose to set a big goal, which is great. But it is useful to set yourself smaller goals to reach the big goal. By doing this you will feel the benefits of aiming for the long-term goal. You will also be less likely to lose sight of your goal knowing that you are on your way.
Reach out of your comfort zone– Humans are usually creatures of habit. So it will certainly feel uncomfortable if you’re attempting something new. But if it is a goal which is in line with something that is really important to you, the outcome will be worth it. Some mindfulness exercises are a great way of dealing with those uncomfortable feelings.
So this new year, adopt these new approaches to setting yourself goals and see what happens! Good luck!
References
Harris, Russ. (2009) Act Made Simple.