Spots and Stripes: Starting Change with Odd Socks
20th November 2019
By Khudayja Datoo
If you observed children and adults wearing odd socks last week, it may have been more than an expression of a distinctive sense of style.
Monday 11th November to Friday 15th November 2019 marked Anti-Bullying Week, with an Odd Socks Day – a fun and free way to raise awareness about bullying, and to reinforce the message that our uniqueness should be celebrated, not bullied.
A recent Government report (Department for Education, 2018) found that 17% of children aged 10-15 in England were bullied in the previous 12 months in a way that had frightened them. Ahead of Anti-Bullying Week, the Anti-Bullying Alliance published a report outlining young people’s recommendations for change. In their survey of over a thousand 11 to 16 year olds, it was found that nearly a quarter of the sample experienced bullying at least once a week in the last six months, with nearly one in ten children missing school due to the fear of being bullied. The full (and aesthetically-pleasing!) report addresses recommendations for stakeholders – young people, parents, schools, technology companies, media influencers and the government – and can be accessed here: https://www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/anti-bullying-week/change-starts-us-anti-bullying-week-report .
Albeit shocking, these figures are not surprising considering the rise of cyberbullying in the last decade. Cyberbullying, whilst similar to ‘traditional’ bullying, is omnipresent; with no limit on its usage or control, its sharing abilities and its anonymised options, the damage can be vast and much more difficult to contain. The impact of bullying can be both short-term (e.g. missing school and trouble sleeping) and long-term (e.g. unstable relationships and mental health issues) which highlights just how serious the repercussions of being bullied are.
When I was younger, I was bullied at a time when life was already quite a struggle for me. Some people would tell me to “ignore it – it will stop if you don’t react” whilst others would explain it away saying that “boys will be boys”. Luckily, my parents always encouraged me to find my voice and, when I did, I was able to work through it with support.
But what actually makes a bully? Some theories often ascribe low self-esteem to bullies, the characteristics of which enable bullies to exert power in a situation that is under their control to feel better about themselves (O’Moore & Kirkham, 2001). Other theories suggest that bullies lack empathy which prevents them from putting themselves in others’ shoes and experiencing the other end of the stick (Gini, Albiero, Benelli, & Altoè, 2007). However – and here is the intriguing bit – Sutton, Smith and Swettenham (1999) proposed that “many bullies may in fact be skilled manipulators, not social inadequates.” It is, therefore, proposed that excess empathy – and not a deficit – may contribute towards the onset of bullying. They argue that the heightened sense of empathy means that one has a ‘superior’ theory of mind and is more equipped to understand the feelings of others. Interestingly, the evidence to back this claim comes from a false belief task where children identified as bullies performed better at truly understanding the overt and covert feelings of characters in pretend scenarios compared to children not identified as bullies. As always, further research is required.
Although the risk of being frequently bullied declines with age, adults can be victims of bullying too – from personal to professional relationships. No matter your age, if you are being bullied, please seek help from trained professionals:
Childline (Under 19s):
Free phone: 0800 1111
National Bullying Helpline (child and adult service)
https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk
Phone: 0845 22 55 787
Young Minds
https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/feelings-and-symptoms/bullying/
Useful resource for children, parents and professionals
Referring back to the report from the Anti-Bullying Alliance, there is something everyone can do to protect people and gradually prevent bullying in our homes, schools and workplaces. Let us take an active stand against bullying because change starts here, with you and I – with us.
P.S. Fancy a catchy tune? Andy and the Odd Socks perform the song ‘Change’ written for this year’s anti-bullying theme ‘Change Starts with Us’ here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBrPy3ZXGzk
References
Department for Education. (2019). Bullying in England: April 2013 to March 2018. [online] Available at: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/bullying-in-england-april-2013-to-march-2018.
Gini, G., Albiero, P., Benelli, B., & Altoè, G. (2007). Does empathy predict adolescents’ bullying and defending behavior?. Aggressive Behavior: Official Journal of the International Society for Research on Aggression, 33(5), 467-476.
O’Moore, M., & Kirkham, C. (2001). Self‐esteem and its relationship to bullying behaviour. Aggressive behavior, 27(4), 269-283.
Sutton, J., Smith, P. K., & Swettenham, J. (1999). Social cognition and bullying: Social inadequacy or skilled manipulation?. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 17(3), 435-450.